Animal House

Whatever you want to call it, our home has turned into some sort of quasi-wildlife refuge / petting zoo / animal habitat. Let's start with the surprise under door #1:

From the looks of this picture, it appears that we have a somewhat-weathered but otherwise normal grill. The only thing out of the ordinary could be the dried grassy materials coming out from under the lid. But that very thing is what leads us to examine the situation a little further.



Viola, under the lid is a full-blown bird's nest. As you may guess, we haven't grilled for a while. About a month ago, I noticed the nest, but - in my laziness - did nothing.



My laziness proved to be the demise of my grill. As seen in the photo below, a closer view shows there may be something more to this nest than just a few feathers and dried vegetation. A prize goes to the first person to guess what could possibly be more than meets the eye in this nest.



If you guessed five bird eggs, then you are a winner.
DISCLAIMER: Prize(s) is/are subject to availability. Correct answer does not guarantee prize.



Next on the agenda is the reptilian enounter. The other day, some neighbor's came over so their daughter could get her haircut. When I answered the door, they told me to check outside by my car (which was parked in the driveway). I looked out and saw what I thought was a toy snake pooping (I mean popping) its head out through the front wheel. Turns out it was real, and ended up hiding in my garage for a couple of hours until I caught it off-guard when I took some garbage out. It was chillin in the stroller when I surprised it. I quickly grabbed some gloves and chased it through the garage before cornering and catching the little rascal.

I had an epiphany of sorts at that very moment. For in all my recollection, I don't believe I have ever come across a "wild" snake that wasn't behind glass. My epiphany was that I am scarred of snakes. I thought it was a garter snake (commonly referred as a garden snake), but after further research I believe it is a yellow-bellied racer snake. The racers are known to be fast, agressive, and good climbers -all of which was evidenced by me when I was trying to catch the buggar. They are also known to emit a stinky substance out the anus when captured (also evidenced by me). Luckily I dropped the darned thing when it tried to poop on me, so I didn't get slimed on. Trying to recatch it was even harder. Lucky for me, though, my adrenaline was pumping, and I was able to secure the culprit. Long story short, I shoved the thing in a cooler, drove to nearby canal and let it loose. The pictures are a little obscure because I was trying to do a self-portrait with the snake and myself, but it proved to be a little more difficult than I thought (largely due to my fear of snakes epiphany).






Snakey Snake would like to thank all those who viewed this post.

Yote: Vour Opinion Matters

First off, there's no need to vote on the current song - I already know it's amazing. Make sure you listen to the whole thing, though, it only gets better as it goes. When the vocalist starts a speaking the words instead of singing them, I laugh my head off everytime I listen to it. Then, when you think it can't get anymore bizarre, it does.

Now to the subject of this post. We (and by we, I mean I) are in the process of building a fence to finish our yard. This will also allow us to send the kids outside without having to worry about them running off somewhere. I (and by I, I mean we) am faced with a dilema on how to configure the fence around our retaining wall. The photo (and by photo, I mean amazing artwork) below shows the two options we are considering.



On the left, you'll notice that the fence just goes straight across. Our retaining wall is about 3.642 feet high, so we'd have approximately 2.358 feet of fence above the wall. It's a little short, but I think it would do the job. I do have concerns, though, because our neighbors have a large dog. If it were to climb on their retaining wall, it could easily step over the shortened fence. However, our neighbors are renters, and they could be moving soon. Also, the owner has not done a fence on the other side of his property, so it could be quite a while (if ever) before our neighbors would let an unleashed dog in their backyard.

On the right (and by right, I mean the right side of the photo (and by photo, see reference to photo above)), we have a full six feet of fence on top of the retaining wall. In order to avoid a less-than-asethetically-pleasing transition to the lower fence, I am thinking about angling the panels as shown. Our neighbors did the same thing and it turned out nice. The thing is (and by thing, I mean problem) that our neighbors had their fence professionally installed. While I don't like to boast of my abilities (see my post titled "Just Call Me Mr. Simpson" from June, 2008), I think I could do a decent job at replicating my neighbors - it will just be harder than dried snot.

Please send me your opinions in the comment section on which would work. I know you will have no trouble at all in envisioning our backyard.

Also, I am considering doing some graphic design on the side. I will do free estimates. Contact me anytime for a quote.

Finally, I have listened to Don't Stop Believin' five + times since I started writing this post.

THE NEXT GREAT DEBATE

I read about a little issue involving the Denver Thuggets - I mean Nuggets – and the playoff schedule. Apparently, Game 4 of the Lakers-Nuggets series is scheduled for next Monday. Problem is, last August, WWE scheduled an event for the very same night. The “wrestling” match date was re-confirmed as recently as March, and tickets went on sale a month ago.

Nugget officials are stating the game will be played as scheduled, but nothing has been resolved as to when and if the WWE event will be rescheduled. Vince McMahon stated that WWE has already sold over 10,000 tickets for the event, and plans on selling out. He added fire to the pot by saying that because the event was scheduled for this time of year, the Nuggets owner didn’t have enough faith that his team would still be playing this late in May. Given the Nuggets's playoff record in recent seasons, plus the fact that The Answer was definately not the answer for team sucess, the outlook on this season wasn't too bright pre-Billups.

My thoughts are: the NBA knew the Pepsi Center was being used that night, and scheduled game 4 regardless; so the Nuggets and the NBA should be scrambling to see if a local college (or high school for that matter) court is available (meaning that no other events are scheduled for next Monday) so they can still hold their game that night.

Your thoughts?

The Creature From The Burrito - Chapter 3

Before I start, I'd like you all to know that I think I've kicked this writer's block thingamajigger. Also, the sauna worked, and I'm back to my old self. So, without further delay, I give you CHAPTER 3.




Chapter 3

Goat turned of the car as they reached their destination. It was nighttime now, so they decided to camp in the parking lot before starting their trek the next day. The forecast for the next few days showed little chance of rain, so they decided to sleep under the stars that night.

As they grabbed their resting sacks, Goat mentioned something about being glad that he didn’t have to pull out his tent tonight. Hairy was cursing under her breath because she had forgotten her shaving gel. Smells was a few yards away trying to get some flatulence out of his system before turning in for the night.

Ernie, though, was paying little attention to everyone else. He thought to himself, How could I just snarff down that burrito like that? I was drawn to that stand as if I had no other choice… A mini-debate was going on in his head as he tried to rationalize with himself why he was so impulsive with getting that burrito. At least he thought he was debating in his head until he looked up and saw that the other three were quietly staring at him while he muttered to himself.

“You had another burrito at the gas station, Ernie?” asked Hairy, “I thought you just got some turkey jerky or something.” Ernie had to think quick, they wouldn’t believe me since the vendor disappeared right after I finished the burrito. “No, no, no, you must have misheard me. My stomach’s not feeling well, and I think it’s from those burritos we ate at lunch,” replied Ernie. “But we didn’t buy those from a street vendor, and I distinctly heard you say something about a mysterious street vendor,” interrupted Smells.

Ernie couldn’t think of anything to counter Smells, so he answered “You guys won’t believe me, but…,” Ernie started, as he recounted his experience with the crazy comfort room, the bodacious burrito, and the vanishing vendor. “That’s impossible,” said Hairy, “I saw you across the street – BY YOURSELF, ALONE, SOLO!”

“I knew you wouldn’t believe me, but it really did happen, and it was the best darn burrito I have ever had the pleasure of tasting,” Ernie replied.

“Assuming this really did happen (and we all know what assuming does), how are you feeling now?” questioned Smells. “If there’s anything I know about, it’s upset stomachs and frothiness. I’m worried you might have food poisoning because you look kind of pale.”

“I think I’m okay. I mean, my stomach’s rumbling and all, but it’s not a sick feeling. I can’t really explain it, but it’s kind of like when your stomach’s full of water and you can kind of feel it sloshing around combined with that butterfly feeling you get when you’re nervous. I really do think I’m fine, it’s more that I’m weirded out by the taco guy disappearing and all. I should be good-to-go tomorrow after a night’s sleep in the clear air out here. The Namnama area sure is beautiful and serene.”

Goat replied, “If our trip is ruined by having to go home early simply because of your burrito fetish, I swear I’ll…”

“You wouldn’t do anything to Ernie,” snapped Hairy.

“Of course I wouldn’t do anything, that was simply my lame attempt at lightening the mood,” said Goat with a smirk as he ran over to Smells and put him in a headlock. He quickly released though, as it was still quite apparent that Smells was still digesting lunch from earlier that day.

Updates

For all of you that are fans of my "Creature From the Burrito" saga, I just thought I'd let you know that I am working on the next few chapters. Unfortunately, I (like most writers do at some point) am experiencing a mild case of writer's block. Combine that with some carpal tunnel along with hairy knuckles, and you can see my perdicament.
The Good News:
When I was diagnosted, they informed me that I am one of the lucky ones, as my condition is not terminal. As long as I follow my perscription of Dr. Pepper and spicy foods, I should be able to kick this thing and get back to writing. Apparently, the 23 flavors (thanks Sean)have some sort of reaction with spices which cleanse the brain - sort of like a detox (or so says Dr. Quinn). Anyway, it feels like it's already working, so more chapters should be forthcoming.
The Bad News:
By writing this post, I have used up any creativity I may have gained by going through my detox program. This is a major setback, and I have no idea how long it will take me to regain my now-lost progress.
The Other Bad News:
My detox program has an awefully awkward side affect, as you can see by my picture.

I recently won a chili cook-off contest, and it was my first time ever making chili.

Is Everybody Having A Good Time?

Hello Everyone

Random Photos

Just a few of the things that have been going on lately. Janie eats food now (she had carrots yesterday), Kyra likes to dress up, and Sammy had a blast at the auto expo. I'm not trying to play favorites with Sammy or anything, but I wanted to post the expo pics.

Caramel Apple Upside-down French Toast

I've decided to come out of the pantry, and declare my food hobby. Ever since I was a kid, I remember coming up with food concoctions. By concoctions, I mostly mean milkshakes and sandwiches. For the most part, as far as I remember, my creations were edible. (NOTE: Bologna and sprouts, seasoned with a little ketchup, between two slices of bread does NOT translate into a tasty sandwich.) Nowadays, I would love to come up with an extravagant meal for the family, but am often content to simply whip up something quick and tasty to satisfy me. Good food has always interested me, though, and thanks to the wonders of cable television, I now have access to the Food Network. I shamefully must admit that other than Jazz games, I probably watch food shows the most. I know I just said I’m usually making something quick and easy, but every once-in-a-while I am possessed by the right combination of ingredients, stamina and desire to create a meal. Recently, I watched a show that gave me this recipe for some fancy French toast. I tried it out on my new cast iron skillet I got for Christmas, and it turned out pretty good.

Follow me, now, on my journey to some ultimate French toast:

First, I made a simple caramel sauce (butter, brown sugar, and cream), and added some dried cranberries and pecans.

I then added a layer of sliced apples, and spinkled on some cinnamon and brown sugar.

The apples were then covered with a couple slices of bread soaked in my french toast batter (ingrediants not revealed) and into the oven to bake.

This is what it looked like after it was done baking.

This was the tricky part. I pressed the skillet against a cookie sheet and then had to do a little whoop-dee-doo (a.k.a. flip the pan over), to get the goodness out of the skillet. Just look at that sweetness. It goes great with a ham and cheese omlet. Well, I hope you all enjoyed this magical mystery tour. Until next time. Adieu.