Beavers, Otters and Moosen

Before I start, let me tell you it's been approximately 9 1/2 hours since I deleted my facebook account, and I feel great. Due to my liberation from the vices of facebook, I have decided to reinstate Don't Stop Believin' by Petra Harden as the only song on this blog. Happy times.

Now, I usually don't get too personal on this blog, but I had the most unusual dream/nightmare last night. It's been so long since I've had a nightmare that I just had to share it. It's already starting to get foggy, so I'm writting this down while somewhat fresh in my mind.

First, I was a beaver living in a river in the middle of winter. I was splashing around with my friend, the otter. For some reason, my otter-friend offended a moose. Apparantly, the moose thought I was involved in the offense, so it started chasing the both of us. Unfortunately, my swimming abilities as a beaver were inferior to my companion's. There's the old saying that if you're in a group being chased by a bear, you only have to be faster than the slowest person. This rule-of-thumb applied here, unfortunately for me, and I was soon overtaken by the moose.

As the moose started goring me (beaver), I was suddenly transported out of the beaver's body and was now my human self standing atop the steep bank near the river watching the moose gore the beaver. The moose suddenly looked up and spotted me and began to make it's way up the bank to confront me. As the moose made it to the top, I slid down the bank into the river to create some space between us.

The next thing I new, the moose was standing right above me on the top of the bank, only now there was a mysterious door that appeared no more than five feet from me. I knew all I had to do was get inside that door, and I'd be safe. But, like George Constanza trying to ask for more bread from the soup nazi, I failed and the moose pounced on me and flung me with its antlers.

Cue the wake up and the nightmare is over.

Recipe for disaster

Hello? Is anybody out there? I'm not sure if anyone reads this anymore since I have not posted anything for the lesser part of 5 months. Believe me, I've wanted to blog. Oh, how I've wanted to blog. Unfortunately, I've been preparing to take a test so that I can get my engineering license. The stress of this test has taken my best and I'll leave you to the rest. Ibig sabihin: My berain is so fried from all my "studying", that I cannot muster the berain power to blog.
With that in mind, I came up with a tastey recipe for some brain food last night as I was getting ready to study. Since a lot of people blog about recipes, I thought I'd join in the fun (even though I was actually a recipe trailblazer a while back already). With that, I give you: "Chicken and Asparagus: Tin-Foil Dinner Style"



Ingredients: Chicken, Asparagus, 1 TBSP Butter, 1 Clove Garlic, Celery Salt, Pepper and Chef Tony's (best seasoning in the world). Wrap everything in foil and bake at 400 degrees Farenheit for 30-35 minutes until chicken is done. Enjoy.



















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Potato chips and a pitcher of o.j. complete the ensemble. MMM, MMM, delicious.

Merry Thanksgivoween

Just thought I'd post a few pictures of our halloween costumes. FYI - Sammy was a dinosaur, not a dragon. Also, I couldn't find a picture of Krista, but she makes one hot pirate!

Who needs an ankle?

I have been lazy, I know. It's not that I haven't thought about you all, but I just haven't felt like writing lately. So, in an attempt to reconcile with you all, I just may post a few things today as a symbol of my pentance. Just thought I'd update you all on a little incident involving my ankle. Up until about two months ago, I played basketball every Thursday night with guys in my neighborhood at the local house of worship. It's my one chance to get a little exercise in for the week.
My last day of basketball took place two months, two days and fifteen hours ago - give or take a few minutes. Relatively early on in evening, I spotted up for a three. The leather sphere was cusped in my hands. I elevated off the ground as I genlty escorted the ball up my torso, past my head, extended and released it towards the basket. Unfortunately, I never saw if it went in through the hoop - although it's highly unlikely that I missed, since I rarely do. As gravity did what it always does to me when I elevate, I returned to the floor - feet first. What I didn't realize though, was that my defender had encroached upon my person, and his foot was directly under mine own foot as I landed.
The next thing I knew I was on the ground. It's hard to describe the feeling I had, but the best words I can think of are excruciating pain and numbness at the same time. I looked down at my foot, and saw that the bottom of my foot was no longer AT the bottom of my foot, but rather the side of my foot. Yes folks, I dislocated my foot. It is the most painful thing I have ever experienced. I didn't know what to do, because I obviously couldn't walk, but I had to do something.
Someone there "offered" to put my foot back in place, but I had hesitations initially because I'd heard that you can permanently damage stuff if it is done wrong. I eventually gave in, and as "Dr." Loosli mildly pulled my foot, it slid back into place.
It's been over two months now, as I stated earlier, and my foot is still swollen and I can't run on it yet. Anyway, I found a picture (it is amazing how I can find all these pictures on the internet) that shows what a normal foot looks like compared to what my foot looked like when it was dislocated.
Enjoy.

Is it meant to be or not to be? (pt. 2)

Back to the original reason I started posting. In a few weeks, I have a business trip scheduled, where I get to go to Denver for a few days. When I realized I was going on a Monday, I thought to myself, "Wouldn't it be great if the Broncos had a Monday night game scheduled for that day?" I knew the odds were slim to none, but I figured I'd better check anyway. I almost jumped out of my seat when I saw that the Broncos actually do have a MNF game the same night I'm in Denver. The key word in the previous sentence is almost - as I was about to jump, I noticed that the game is on the road. Darn!
So then I started thinking about how I've never been to a MLB game, either. Well, currently the Rockies are in position to win the Wild Card spot. Round 1 of the NL playoffs ends about a week before I'm in Colorado. Ibig sabihin, if the Rockies hold true to their form, AND get through to the second round, I could be in Denver for a NLCS game (National League Championship Series - for the Laman)!
QUESTION: How awesome would that be?
ANSWER: Freakin' awesome!

p.s. - I know it's layman and not Laman, but growing up, I always thought it was Laman because I'm a naive mormon.

Is it meant to be or not to be?

Before I get started, let me tell you about a little discovery I happened to discover. Apparently, if you hit “enter” after typing in a title for your new post, it automatically publishes the post, even if you don’t have anything written for your post.

Which brings me to a question: What type of person are you?

-The type that writes a post, then tries to come up with a clever title to match what you’ve just written?

-The type that has an idea about a post, and is instantly inspired with a witty title?

-The type that doesn’t care enough to bother evaluating my question?

CHECK THIS OUT

An Ultimate Catch in Ultimate Frisbee

About a year ago, I published a post summarizing a home-run I hit during a company softball tournament. I experienced a crossroads of feelings about that post because I didn't want to come across too cocky, but I was uber impressed that I was actually able to knock one out. Well, I've come to another crossroads of sorts once again today while playing ultimate frisbee.

There's a group of people that play frisbee once or twice a week during our lunch break at work. I don't play too often with them because I'd rather play basketball during lunch. Today was an exception. I hadn't played in a while, but the urge hit me like Soda Popinski, so I decided to join them. These guys play quite often and are pretty good, so I feel like the kid who gets picked last when I play with them.

I hadn't been playing too well today, but that was all about to change. We were on defense, and the other team was advancing down the field. I was playing up on the offense when they threw it down field. I saw my teammate encroach upon the disc, and knew there was going to be a turnover. I bolted down field, so that I could be in position for a long bomb or hail-mary of sorts. As soon as my teammate (name withheld) picked up the disc, our eyes met and I knew he was going to launch it down towards me.

Although it was a little high, it was a beautifully thrown frisbee. I quickly realized that I needed to slow down so that I wouldn't outrun the toss. Unfortunately, the disc's slight floatation enabled the opposing defender to catch up to me and battle for position. The defender was shorter than I, so I thought I should be able to out jump him, even though he was all over me. As the disc approached, I leaped into the air to retrieve it. Unfortunately, at the same time a thought entered my mind, "You'be been playing like crap today, Mr. Jesse, so you'd better not mess this up."

A loud groan escaped my lips as the frisbee bounced off the palm of my hand, "Noooo!!!" As I was putting my hands in front of my face displaying my shame, out of the corner of my eye, I noticed that the frisbee was falling down right in front of me.

I don't know if it was a stroke of genius, pure instinct, or the divine kinship of athleticism, but I somehow managed to kick the frisbee with my shoe. I didn't kick it very hard, but it was hard enough that it gave me enough time to swoop down and grab it. It was an amazing turn of events. Unfortunately, I wasn't in the end-zone when i caught it, and we ended up turning the frisbee over before we could score. Eventually we ended up losing. But hey, at least I made the catch of the day.

Here's a cartoon I "found" that perfectly illustrates my catch. I need to find out who the artist is...

Results Show

So, it's been a while since I last posted. I'm not sure what the deal is, but I just feel there hasn't been anything post-worthy. Until today, that is. I feel my last post has left most of you, the people, on edge to see what'd happed to the 2-in-1 bird's nest / barbecue. I also have an inkling that you'd like to know how the fence turned out.

Some of you may have cheated and already seen the pictures I included with this post. So, before I get any further, I'd like to clarify that no animals were harmed as a result of my birdiecue. Yes, that's right folks, I have dubbed my barbecue a birdiecue. Not sure why, but it just sounded clever I guess.



As for the fence configuration (and by configuration, I mean layout)... Just kidding, I won't get into that again. Anyway, the majority seemed to be in favor of me doing a high fence on top of the retaining wall. I, however, have never been one to follow the crowd, but rather prefer blazing my own trail(s). So, I did the shortened fence over the wall, and I think it looks rather splendid. One thing I did learn from this experience was that I never want to build another fence again - and I'll leave it at that.



Here's a reminder of my sketch I threw together to compare the two options. After seeing the actual photo, I am more motivated than ever to take up graphic design.



This last picture is for sean so he can have a reminder of how awesome my beard was while it lasted. It's also to show sammy chillin' in the pool.



Sammy's newest pet, Snaily Snail Sam, would like to thank you for your patronage.

Animal House

Whatever you want to call it, our home has turned into some sort of quasi-wildlife refuge / petting zoo / animal habitat. Let's start with the surprise under door #1:

From the looks of this picture, it appears that we have a somewhat-weathered but otherwise normal grill. The only thing out of the ordinary could be the dried grassy materials coming out from under the lid. But that very thing is what leads us to examine the situation a little further.



Viola, under the lid is a full-blown bird's nest. As you may guess, we haven't grilled for a while. About a month ago, I noticed the nest, but - in my laziness - did nothing.



My laziness proved to be the demise of my grill. As seen in the photo below, a closer view shows there may be something more to this nest than just a few feathers and dried vegetation. A prize goes to the first person to guess what could possibly be more than meets the eye in this nest.



If you guessed five bird eggs, then you are a winner.
DISCLAIMER: Prize(s) is/are subject to availability. Correct answer does not guarantee prize.



Next on the agenda is the reptilian enounter. The other day, some neighbor's came over so their daughter could get her haircut. When I answered the door, they told me to check outside by my car (which was parked in the driveway). I looked out and saw what I thought was a toy snake pooping (I mean popping) its head out through the front wheel. Turns out it was real, and ended up hiding in my garage for a couple of hours until I caught it off-guard when I took some garbage out. It was chillin in the stroller when I surprised it. I quickly grabbed some gloves and chased it through the garage before cornering and catching the little rascal.

I had an epiphany of sorts at that very moment. For in all my recollection, I don't believe I have ever come across a "wild" snake that wasn't behind glass. My epiphany was that I am scarred of snakes. I thought it was a garter snake (commonly referred as a garden snake), but after further research I believe it is a yellow-bellied racer snake. The racers are known to be fast, agressive, and good climbers -all of which was evidenced by me when I was trying to catch the buggar. They are also known to emit a stinky substance out the anus when captured (also evidenced by me). Luckily I dropped the darned thing when it tried to poop on me, so I didn't get slimed on. Trying to recatch it was even harder. Lucky for me, though, my adrenaline was pumping, and I was able to secure the culprit. Long story short, I shoved the thing in a cooler, drove to nearby canal and let it loose. The pictures are a little obscure because I was trying to do a self-portrait with the snake and myself, but it proved to be a little more difficult than I thought (largely due to my fear of snakes epiphany).






Snakey Snake would like to thank all those who viewed this post.