11/8/10

Crossfire

So, this is one of my favorite songs right now.  I recently came across the music video for it, and found it quite funny.  If any of you know of a better way than smiling awkwardly at someone as a way of saying thanks for being rescued from a bunch of ninjas, please let me know (watch the 1:27 mark and you'll know what I'm talking about).  The director / performer sure know how to capture the essence of a hostage rescue.

10/26/10

Recipe for Disaster. Part Deux

Back in the early spring, as I was preparing for an exam, I came up with a delicious recipe for chicken and asparagus.  If you're interested, you can click here.  Just kidding, but if you're still interested, you can really click here.  I don't know why, but it seems that intellectual stimulation gets my creative culinary juices flowing, for I have come up with a new recipe - Chiggs (short for chili and eggs).


I start off with a medium sized pan and  browning a Tbsp of chopped yellow onion and one clove of garlic in oil.  I then scramble four (4) eggs in this nasal masterpiece.  Notice how the eggs are spread around the perimeter with an opening in the nucleus - this comes into play shortly.


 I then dice up three cherry tomatoes (mini tomatoes to the lay person), and douse with salt and pepper.


 The chopped tomatoes then are gently placed into the nucleus of scrambled eggs as shown above.


 The entire ensemble is then completed with a dollop of cream cheese and warmed until the cheese is melted.


 The eggs are then placed in a bowl and topped with 3/4 cup of chili and two slices of toast.  Depending on how I feel, I just might post my magical chili recipe in a following post.  I don't know why, but my display of food looks eerily similar to a clown face.




Enjoy.

Actually, chili and eggs don't go so well together, digestively that is.  I happened to make this a couple of hours before church on Sunday; and, dare I say, my stomach was a little bit frothy. 

Finally, my next post just might include a little something on men's hairstyles.

9/29/10

I tri'd it, and I liked it (kind of)

So, I guess I'll start off by introducing myself.  I'm Jesse.  It's been a while since I've blogged, and feel it's high time for an update.  We'll start off with the event of the summer - the Bountiful Triathlon.  It's a pretty prestigious event, and I'm sure most of you have heard about it.  The following is a perfect regime on how to barely finish a triathlon sprint with one of the slowest times.

It all started several months ago when my sweet, sweet brother-in-law convinced me that I should sign up with him and do the triathlon.  Another brother-in-law (names withheld in both cases for privacy reasons) said he'd do it too.  The triathlon is a sprint, so the distances are relatively short and the best racers complete the event in a little over an hour.  I thought this would be an excellent opportunity to try to get into shape, so I agreed to do it.  The next item on the agenda was to start training.  Since the event has three parts (hence TRI-athlon), I'll break this into three parts as well.

Swimming - I've never been the best of swimmers, so I figured that swimming is what I shoud work on the most.  *Holy cow, not to change the subject, but I just found out what smells worse than burnt popcorn - burnt kettle corn.  Ew, someone in this building made a huge boo-boo and it's going to stink the rest of the day.  Wonderful.  I'd like to continue writing this post, but the smell is too overwhelming; plus, I shouldn't be wasting work time on the blog.  On the other hand, if someone is inconsiderate enough to burn kettle corn, I think I deserve a little chance to blog.*
Now, back to the subject at hand: swimming.  My family has had a pass to a local rec. center for several years now, so I thought I would take advantage of my pass and swim in the mornings before work.  I decided to start swimming twice a week.  This was about two or three months before the tri, so I figured it was as good of time as any to start swimming.  The first day, I think I swam two whole, entire laps and was completely exhausted.  Many of you might think that would cause me to quit.  I decided to give it another chance, and the next day, I swam the 7 laps (350 m) - which is the distance in the triathlon.  Keep in mind, mind you, that I did not swim the entire distance without stopping.  No, after every lap (or 1/2 lap for that matter), I had to stop for a bit and catch my breath.  After a few weeks of training I had to travel for work, went on vacation, then went to scout camp.  Needless to say, I didn't swim for about three weeks.  After I got back, I went swimming one morning and was able to swim the entire distance in under 10 minutes, which was on par with the top swimmers from last year.  Unfortunately, I didn't build on this momentum, but let my confidence sway me to not swim anymore and focus on the other two events.

Biking:  I have an old mountain bike that sat in my basement for the better part of four years, and fixed it up so that it was in riding shape.  We also bought a bike trailer to haul the kids around.  My theory was that if I ride my bike pulling the kids, when I raced, I'd be 100 pounds lighter and zip through it.  I think I rode the bike 3 or 6 times before the race.  The highlight of the bike training was when I was trying to make it fun for the kids by going fast down a moderately busy road in our neighborhood.  A quick synopsis:  the clamp came of my bike as did the safety strap, all while I was gaining speed down the hill.  I looked back to see the kids rolling down the road behind me, with the trailer clamp sparking as it scraped along the ground.  Fortunately, there were no cars at the time, and the trailer quickly stopped rolling thanks to my new friend, friction.  I don't know who was more scared, me or the kids.


Once again, thanks to the wondrous internet, I was able to find a picture that accurately illustrates what happend.

#3) Running.  This is short because I didn't run.  I figured that since I played basketball once or twice a week, and that it was only a 5k run, I'd be good.

Training summary - some swimming, even less biking, and a little bit of basketball.

Day of the event.  The Bountiful Triathlon is a little unique in that it is reverse order: run, bike swim.  My theory is that because the swim is in a pool, they have the swim last to prevent over-crowding.  This turned out to doom me, as I will soon point out.

First up was the run.  As soon as the gun fired we were off.  I kept up with the leaders for about 20 yards then slowly started to fall back.  By the time we were out of the parking lot, my thighs were burning, and I wanted to quit.  Apparantly, running back and forth with frequent stops for offensive and defensive plays on a basketball court does not translate to distance running.  However, I was determined not to fail.  I figured the biking and swimming would be much easier than the run, so I kept going.

Bike.  Earlier, I mentioned that I had a mountiain bike.  Mountain bikes are great for riding - on dirt roads in the MoUnTaInS.  Thanks to a police radar cart, I was able to verify quite accurately that riding a mountain bike allowed me to reach a top speed of about 16 mph, where the road bikers were easily 20-22 mph.   Needless to say, by the time I finished the bike, combined with my slow run, I was near the back of the pack.  Say what you will, I am chalking the bike failure was due to equipment rather than lack of training.

Swim.  As I neared the rec. center, I thought "At least I can do the swim in a decent amount of time."  Boy was I wrong.  My state of couch-potatoness had my legs in such a jelly state that I could barely waddle from the parking lot to the pool.  I swam the first lap fairly well, then realized that I was utterly and completely exhausted.  I ended up doing the backstroke for probably 85% of the swim.  However, I finished, and there's plenty to be said about that.  I think I've taken enough of your time for one day, let's hope for a brighter tomorrow.

Sincerely,


5/20/10

Beavers, Otters and Moosen


Before I start, let me tell you it's been approximately 9 1/2 hours since I deleted my facebook account, and I feel great. Due to my liberation from the vices of facebook, I have decided to reinstate Don't Stop Believin' by Petra Harden as the only song on this blog. Happy times.


Now, I usually don't get too personal on this blog, but I had the most unusual dream/nightmare last night. It's been so long since I've had a nightmare that I just had to share it. It's already starting to get foggy, so I'm writting this down while somewhat fresh in my mind.


First, I was a beaver living in a river in the middle of winter. I was splashing around with my friend, the otter. For some reason, my otter-friend offended a moose. Apparantly, the moose thought I was involved in the offense, so it started chasing the both of us. Unfortunately, my swimming abilities as a beaver were inferior to my companion's. There's the old saying that if you're in a group being chased by a bear, you only have to be faster than the slowest person. This rule-of-thumb applied here, unfortunately for me, and I was soon overtaken by the moose.


As the moose started goring me (beaver), I was suddenly transported out of the beaver's body and was now my human self standing atop the steep bank near the river watching the moose gore the beaver. The moose suddenly looked up and spotted me and began to make it's way up the bank to confront me. As the moose made it to the top, I slid down the bank into the river to create some space between us.


The next thing I new, the moose was standing right above me on the top of the bank, only now there was a mysterious door that appeared no more than five feet from me. I knew all I had to do was get inside that door, and I'd be safe. But, like George Constanza trying to ask for more bread from the soup nazi, I failed and the moose pounced on me and flung me with its antlers.


Cue the wake up and the nightmare is over.

4/13/10

Recipe for disaster

Hello? Is anybody out there? I'm not sure if anyone reads this anymore since I have not posted anything for the lesser part of 5 months. Believe me, I've wanted to blog. Oh, how I've wanted to blog. Unfortunately, I've been preparing to take a test so that I can get my engineering license. The stress of this test has taken my best and I'll leave you to the rest. Ibig sabihin: My berain is so fried from all my "studying", that I cannot muster the berain power to blog.
With that in mind, I came up with a tastey recipe for some brain food last night as I was getting ready to study. Since a lot of people blog about recipes, I thought I'd join in the fun (even though I was actually a recipe trailblazer a while back already). With that, I give you: "Chicken and Asparagus: Tin-Foil Dinner Style"



Ingredients: Chicken, Asparagus, 1 TBSP Butter, 1 Clove Garlic, Celery Salt, Pepper and Chef Tony's (best seasoning in the world). Wrap everything in foil and bake at 400 degrees Farenheit for 30-35 minutes until chicken is done. Enjoy.



















Actually, something is missing. WAIT! I've got it! (scroll down please)
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
Potato chips and a pitcher of o.j. complete the ensemble. MMM, MMM, delicious.

11/20/09

Merry Thanksgivoween





Just thought I'd post a few pictures of our halloween costumes. FYI - Sammy was a dinosaur, not a dragon. Also, I couldn't find a picture of Krista, but she makes one hot pirate!

Who needs an ankle?

I have been lazy, I know. It's not that I haven't thought about you all, but I just haven't felt like writing lately. So, in an attempt to reconcile with you all, I just may post a few things today as a symbol of my pentance. Just thought I'd update you all on a little incident involving my ankle. Up until about two months ago, I played basketball every Thursday night with guys in my neighborhood at the local house of worship. It's my one chance to get a little exercise in for the week.
My last day of basketball took place two months, two days and fifteen hours ago - give or take a few minutes. Relatively early on in evening, I spotted up for a three. The leather sphere was cusped in my hands. I elevated off the ground as I genlty escorted the ball up my torso, past my head, extended and released it towards the basket. Unfortunately, I never saw if it went in through the hoop - although it's highly unlikely that I missed, since I rarely do. As gravity did what it always does to me when I elevate, I returned to the floor - feet first. What I didn't realize though, was that my defender had encroached upon my person, and his foot was directly under mine own foot as I landed.
The next thing I knew I was on the ground. It's hard to describe the feeling I had, but the best words I can think of are excruciating pain and numbness at the same time. I looked down at my foot, and saw that the bottom of my foot was no longer AT the bottom of my foot, but rather the side of my foot. Yes folks, I dislocated my foot. It is the most painful thing I have ever experienced. I didn't know what to do, because I obviously couldn't walk, but I had to do something.
Someone there "offered" to put my foot back in place, but I had hesitations initially because I'd heard that you can permanently damage stuff if it is done wrong. I eventually gave in, and as "Dr." Loosli mildly pulled my foot, it slid back into place.
It's been over two months now, as I stated earlier, and my foot is still swollen and I can't run on it yet. Anyway, I found a picture (it is amazing how I can find all these pictures on the internet) that shows what a normal foot looks like compared to what my foot looked like when it was dislocated.
Enjoy.

9/24/09

Is it meant to be or not to be? (pt. 2)


Back to the original reason I started posting. In a few weeks, I have a business trip scheduled, where I get to go to Denver for a few days. When I realized I was going on a Monday, I thought to myself, "Wouldn't it be great if the Broncos had a Monday night game scheduled for that day?" I knew the odds were slim to none, but I figured I'd better check anyway. I almost jumped out of my seat when I saw that the Broncos actually do have a MNF game the same night I'm in Denver. The key word in the previous sentence is almost - as I was about to jump, I noticed that the game is on the road. Darn!
So then I started thinking about how I've never been to a MLB game, either. Well, currently the Rockies are in position to win the Wild Card spot. Round 1 of the NL playoffs ends about a week before I'm in Colorado. Ibig sabihin, if the Rockies hold true to their form, AND get through to the second round, I could be in Denver for a NLCS game (National League Championship Series - for the Laman)!
QUESTION: How awesome would that be?
ANSWER: Freakin' awesome!

p.s. - I know it's layman and not Laman, but growing up, I always thought it was Laman because I'm a naive mormon.

Is it meant to be or not to be?



Before I get started, let me tell you about a little discovery I happened to discover. Apparently, if you hit “enter” after typing in a title for your new post, it automatically publishes the post, even if you don’t have anything written for your post.

Which brings me to a question: What type of person are you?

-The type that writes a post, then tries to come up with a clever title to match what you’ve just written?

-The type that has an idea about a post, and is instantly inspired with a witty title?

-The type that doesn’t care enough to bother evaluating my question?