My last day of basketball took place two months, two days and fifteen hours ago - give or take a few minutes. Relatively early on in evening, I spotted up for a three. The leather sphere was cusped in my hands. I elevated off the ground as I genlty escorted the ball up my torso, past my head, extended and released it towards the basket. Unfortunately, I never saw if it went in through the hoop - although it's highly unlikely that I missed, since I rarely do. As gravity did what it always does to me when I elevate, I returned to the floor - feet first. What I didn't realize though, was that my defender had encroached upon my person, and his foot was directly under mine own foot as I landed.
The next thing I knew I was on the ground. It's hard to describe the feeling I had, but the best words I can think of are excruciating pain and numbness at the same time. I looked down at my foot, and saw that the bottom of my foot was no longer AT the bottom of my foot, but rather the side of my foot. Yes folks, I dislocated my foot. It is the most painful thing I have ever experienced. I didn't know what to do, because I obviously couldn't walk, but I had to do something.
Someone there "offered" to put my foot back in place, but I had hesitations initially because I'd heard that you can permanently damage stuff if it is done wrong. I eventually gave in, and as "Dr." Loosli mildly pulled my foot, it slid back into place.
It's been over two months now, as I stated earlier, and my foot is still swollen and I can't run on it yet. Anyway, I found a picture (it is amazing how I can find all these pictures on the internet) that shows what a normal foot looks like compared to what my foot looked like when it was dislocated.
Back to the original reason I started posting. In a few weeks, I have a business trip scheduled, where I get to go to Denver for a few days. When I realized I was going on a Monday, I thought to myself, "Wouldn't it be great if the Broncos had a Monday night game scheduled for that day?" I knew the odds were slim to none, but I figured I'd better check anyway. I almost jumped out of my seat when I saw that the Broncos actually do have a MNF game the same night I'm in Denver. The key word in the previous sentence is almost - as I was about to jump, I noticed that the game is on the road. Darn!
So then I started thinking about how I've never been to a MLB game, either. Well, currently the Rockies are in position to win the Wild Card spot. Round 1 of the NL playoffs ends about a week before I'm in Colorado. Ibig sabihin, if the Rockies hold true to their form, AND get through to the second round, I could be in Denver for a NLCS game (National League Championship Series - for the Laman)!
QUESTION: How awesome would that be?
ANSWER: Freakin' awesome!
p.s. - I know it's layman and not Laman, but growing up, I always thought it was Laman because I'm a naive mormon.
Before I get started, let me tell you about a little discovery I happened to discover. Apparently, if you hit “enter” after typing in a title for your new post, it automatically publishes the post, even if you don’t have anything written for your post.
Which brings me to a question: What type of person are you?
-The type that writes a post, then tries to come up with a clever title to match what you’ve just written?
-The type that has an idea about a post, and is instantly inspired with a witty title?
-The type that doesn’t care enough to bother evaluating my question?
There's a group of people that play frisbee once or twice a week during our lunch break at work. I don't play too often with them because I'd rather play basketball during lunch. Today was an exception. I hadn't played in a while, but the urge hit me like Soda Popinski, so I decided to join them. These guys play quite often and are pretty good, so I feel like the kid who gets picked last when I play with them.
I hadn't been playing too well today, but that was all about to change. We were on defense, and the other team was advancing down the field. I was playing up on the offense when they threw it down field. I saw my teammate encroach upon the disc, and knew there was going to be a turnover. I bolted down field, so that I could be in position for a long bomb or hail-mary of sorts. As soon as my teammate (name withheld) picked up the disc, our eyes met and I knew he was going to launch it down towards me.
Although it was a little high, it was a beautifully thrown frisbee. I quickly realized that I needed to slow down so that I wouldn't outrun the toss. Unfortunately, the disc's slight floatation enabled the opposing defender to catch up to me and battle for position. The defender was shorter than I, so I thought I should be able to out jump him, even though he was all over me. As the disc approached, I leaped into the air to retrieve it. Unfortunately, at the same time a thought entered my mind, "You'be been playing like crap today, Mr. Jesse, so you'd better not mess this up."
A loud groan escaped my lips as the frisbee bounced off the palm of my hand, "Noooo!!!" As I was putting my hands in front of my face displaying my shame, out of the corner of my eye, I noticed that the frisbee was falling down right in front of me.
I don't know if it was a stroke of genius, pure instinct, or the divine kinship of athleticism, but I somehow managed to kick the frisbee with my shoe. I didn't kick it very hard, but it was hard enough that it gave me enough time to swoop down and grab it. It was an amazing turn of events. Unfortunately, I wasn't in the end-zone when i caught it, and we ended up turning the frisbee over before we could score. Eventually we ended up losing. But hey, at least I made the catch of the day.
Here's a cartoon I "found" that perfectly illustrates my catch. I need to find out who the artist is...
Some of you may have cheated and already seen the pictures I included with this post. So, before I get any further, I'd like to clarify that no animals were harmed as a result of my birdiecue. Yes, that's right folks, I have dubbed my barbecue a birdiecue. Not sure why, but it just sounded clever I guess.
As for the fence configuration (and by configuration, I mean layout)... Just kidding, I won't get into that again. Anyway, the majority seemed to be in favor of me doing a high fence on top of the retaining wall. I, however, have never been one to follow the crowd, but rather prefer blazing my own trail(s). So, I did the shortened fence over the wall, and I think it looks rather splendid. One thing I did learn from this experience was that I never want to build another fence again - and I'll leave it at that.
Here's a reminder of my sketch I threw together to compare the two options. After seeing the actual photo, I am more motivated than ever to take up graphic design.
This last picture is for sean so he can have a reminder of how awesome my beard was while it lasted. It's also to show sammy chillin' in the pool.
Sammy's newest pet, Snaily Snail Sam, would like to thank you for your patronage.
From the looks of this picture, it appears that we have a somewhat-weathered but otherwise normal grill. The only thing out of the ordinary could be the dried grassy materials coming out from under the lid. But that very thing is what leads us to examine the situation a little further.
Viola, under the lid is a full-blown bird's nest. As you may guess, we haven't grilled for a while. About a month ago, I noticed the nest, but - in my laziness - did nothing.
My laziness proved to be the demise of my grill. As seen in the photo below, a closer view shows there may be something more to this nest than just a few feathers and dried vegetation. A prize goes to the first person to guess what could possibly be more than meets the eye in this nest.
If you guessed five bird eggs, then you are a winner.
DISCLAIMER: Prize(s) is/are subject to availability. Correct answer does not guarantee prize.
Next on the agenda is the reptilian enounter. The other day, some neighbor's came over so their daughter could get her haircut. When I answered the door, they told me to check outside by my car (which was parked in the driveway). I looked out and saw what I thought was a toy snake pooping (I mean popping) its head out through the front wheel. Turns out it was real, and ended up hiding in my garage for a couple of hours until I caught it off-guard when I took some garbage out. It was chillin in the stroller when I surprised it. I quickly grabbed some gloves and chased it through the garage before cornering and catching the little rascal.
I had an epiphany of sorts at that very moment. For in all my recollection, I don't believe I have ever come across a "wild" snake that wasn't behind glass. My epiphany was that I am scarred of snakes. I thought it was a garter snake (commonly referred as a garden snake), but after further research I believe it is a yellow-bellied racer snake. The racers are known to be fast, agressive, and good climbers -all of which was evidenced by me when I was trying to catch the buggar. They are also known to emit a stinky substance out the anus when captured (also evidenced by me). Luckily I dropped the darned thing when it tried to poop on me, so I didn't get slimed on. Trying to recatch it was even harder. Lucky for me, though, my adrenaline was pumping, and I was able to secure the culprit. Long story short, I shoved the thing in a cooler, drove to nearby canal and let it loose. The pictures are a little obscure because I was trying to do a self-portrait with the snake and myself, but it proved to be a little more difficult than I thought (largely due to my fear of snakes epiphany).
Snakey Snake would like to thank all those who viewed this post.
Now to the subject of this post. We (and by we, I mean I) are in the process of building a fence to finish our yard. This will also allow us to send the kids outside without having to worry about them running off somewhere. I (and by I, I mean we) am faced with a dilema on how to configure the fence around our retaining wall. The photo (and by photo, I mean amazing artwork) below shows the two options we are considering.
On the left, you'll notice that the fence just goes straight across. Our retaining wall is about 3.642 feet high, so we'd have approximately 2.358 feet of fence above the wall. It's a little short, but I think it would do the job. I do have concerns, though, because our neighbors have a large dog. If it were to climb on their retaining wall, it could easily step over the shortened fence. However, our neighbors are renters, and they could be moving soon. Also, the owner has not done a fence on the other side of his property, so it could be quite a while (if ever) before our neighbors would let an unleashed dog in their backyard.
On the right (and by right, I mean the right side of the photo (and by photo, see reference to photo above)), we have a full six feet of fence on top of the retaining wall. In order to avoid a less-than-asethetically-pleasing transition to the lower fence, I am thinking about angling the panels as shown. Our neighbors did the same thing and it turned out nice. The thing is (and by thing, I mean problem) that our neighbors had their fence professionally installed. While I don't like to boast of my abilities (see my post titled "Just Call Me Mr. Simpson" from June, 2008), I think I could do a decent job at replicating my neighbors - it will just be harder than dried snot.
Please send me your opinions in the comment section on which would work. I know you will have no trouble at all in envisioning our backyard.
Also, I am considering doing some graphic design on the side. I will do free estimates. Contact me anytime for a quote.
Finally, I have listened to Don't Stop Believin' five + times since I started writing this post.
I read about a little issue involving the Denver Thuggets - I mean Nuggets – and the playoff schedule. Apparently, Game 4 of the Lakers-Nuggets series is scheduled for next Monday. Problem is, last August, WWE scheduled an event for the very same night. The “wrestling” match date was re-confirmed as recently as March, and tickets went on sale a month ago.
Nugget officials are stating the game will be played as scheduled, but nothing has been resolved as to when and if the WWE event will be rescheduled. Vince McMahon stated that WWE has already sold over 10,000 tickets for the event, and plans on selling out. He added fire to the pot by saying that because the event was scheduled for this time of year, the Nuggets owner didn’t have enough faith that his team would still be playing this late in May. Given the Nuggets's playoff record in recent seasons, plus the fact that The Answer was definately not the answer for team sucess, the outlook on this season wasn't too bright pre-Billups.
My thoughts are: the NBA knew the Pepsi Center was being used that night, and scheduled game 4 regardless; so the Nuggets and the NBA should be scrambling to see if a local college (or high school for that matter) court is available (meaning that no other events are scheduled for next Monday) so they can still hold their game that night.
Goat turned of the car as they reached their destination. It was nighttime now, so they decided to camp in the parking lot before starting their trek the next day. The forecast for the next few days showed little chance of rain, so they decided to sleep under the stars that night.
As they grabbed their resting sacks, Goat mentioned something about being glad that he didn’t have to pull out his tent tonight. Hairy was cursing under her breath because she had forgotten her shaving gel. Smells was a few yards away trying to get some flatulence out of his system before turning in for the night.
Ernie, though, was paying little attention to everyone else. He thought to himself, How could I just snarff down that burrito like that? I was drawn to that stand as if I had no other choice… A mini-debate was going on in his head as he tried to rationalize with himself why he was so impulsive with getting that burrito. At least he thought he was debating in his head until he looked up and saw that the other three were quietly staring at him while he muttered to himself.
“You had another burrito at the gas station, Ernie?” asked Hairy, “I thought you just got some turkey jerky or something.” Ernie had to think quick, they wouldn’t believe me since the vendor disappeared right after I finished the burrito. “No, no, no, you must have misheard me. My stomach’s not feeling well, and I think it’s from those burritos we ate at lunch,” replied Ernie. “But we didn’t buy those from a street vendor, and I distinctly heard you say something about a mysterious street vendor,” interrupted Smells.
Ernie couldn’t think of anything to counter Smells, so he answered “You guys won’t believe me, but…,” Ernie started, as he recounted his experience with the crazy comfort room, the bodacious burrito, and the vanishing vendor. “That’s impossible,” said Hairy, “I saw you across the street – BY YOURSELF, ALONE, SOLO!”
“I knew you wouldn’t believe me, but it really did happen, and it was the best darn burrito I have ever had the pleasure of tasting,” Ernie replied.
“Assuming this really did happen (and we all know what assuming does), how are you feeling now?” questioned Smells. “If there’s anything I know about, it’s upset stomachs and frothiness. I’m worried you might have food poisoning because you look kind of pale.”
“I think I’m okay. I mean, my stomach’s rumbling and all, but it’s not a sick feeling. I can’t really explain it, but it’s kind of like when your stomach’s full of water and you can kind of feel it sloshing around combined with that butterfly feeling you get when you’re nervous. I really do think I’m fine, it’s more that I’m weirded out by the taco guy disappearing and all. I should be good-to-go tomorrow after a night’s sleep in the clear air out here. The Namnama area sure is beautiful and serene.”
Goat replied, “If our trip is ruined by having to go home early simply because of your burrito fetish, I swear I’ll…”
“You wouldn’t do anything to Ernie,” snapped Hairy.
“Of course I wouldn’t do anything, that was simply my lame attempt at lightening the mood,” said Goat with a smirk as he ran over to Smells and put him in a headlock. He quickly released though, as it was still quite apparent that Smells was still digesting lunch from earlier that day.
The Good News:
When I was diagnosted, they informed me that I am one of the lucky ones, as my condition is not terminal. As long as I follow my perscription of Dr. Pepper and spicy foods, I should be able to kick this thing and get back to writing. Apparently, the 23 flavors (thanks Sean)have some sort of reaction with spices which cleanse the brain - sort of like a detox (or so says Dr. Quinn). Anyway, it feels like it's already working, so more chapters should be forthcoming.
The Bad News:
By writing this post, I have used up any creativity I may have gained by going through my detox program. This is a major setback, and I have no idea how long it will take me to regain my now-lost progress.
The Other Bad News:
My detox program has an awefully awkward side affect, as you can see by my picture.
Just a few of the things that have been going on lately. Janie eats food now (she had carrots yesterday), Kyra likes to dress up, and Sammy had a blast at the auto expo. I'm not trying to play favorites with Sammy or anything, but I wanted to post the expo pics.
First, I made a simple caramel sauce (butter, brown sugar, and cream), and added some dried cranberries and pecans.
I then added a layer of sliced apples, and spinkled on some cinnamon and brown sugar.
The apples were then covered with a couple slices of bread soaked in my french toast batter (ingrediants not revealed) and into the oven to bake.
This is what it looked like after it was done baking.
This was the tricky part. I pressed the skillet against a cookie sheet and then had to do a little whoop-dee-doo (a.k.a. flip the pan over), to get the goodness out of the skillet. Just look at that sweetness. It goes great with a ham and cheese omlet. Well, I hope you all enjoyed this magical mystery tour. Until next time. Adieu.
Next on the agenda was to find a favorite player. This part is a little fuzzy to me, but I went to a local store to get a poster. Considering my naivety, my brother was (at the time) a sports’ guru compared to me. My goal was to get a “cool” poster, preferably one sports related, but I was flexible. As I was flipping through the posters, I remember noticing a Karl Malone poster and a Bash Brothers poster of Jose and Mark. Then, another A’s player poster showed up. I’m pretty sure I didn’t know who he was at the time, but if he had a poster, he must be good – Rickey Henderson was his name.
My brother probably informed me that he was a really good player, that he was fast, and inherently skilled at stealing bases. That was enough for me, I was sold.
Over the years, I would collect Rickey’s baseball cards wherever I could. It got to the point that, even though my team was still the A’s, I cheered for whatever team Rickey was on, Toronto, San Diego, New York, Anaheim, Seattle, Boston, Los Angeles, and several return trips to Oakland. I loved learning about Rickey’s accomplishments. My Sunday morning ritual would be: put some Eggo waffles in the toaster, grab the paper, pull out the sports section, and quickly scan to see what Rickey’s year-to-date stats were while meticulously eating my Eggos. You can probably bet my excitement when I found out that Rickey’s minor-league record for stolen bases in a single game happened on my birthday. Even after the lockout almost completely destroyed my passion for MLB, the fact that Rickey was still playing kept me a fan.
Congrats to Rickey for being called to the Hall of Fame.