9/18/09
7/28/09
An Ultimate Catch in Ultimate Frisbee
About a year ago, I published a post summarizing a home-run I hit during a company softball tournament. I experienced a crossroads of feelings about that post because I didn't want to come across too cocky, but I was uber impressed that I was actually able to knock one out. Well, I've come to another crossroads of sorts once again today while playing ultimate frisbee.
There's a group of people that play frisbee once or twice a week during our lunch break at work. I don't play too often with them because I'd rather play basketball during lunch. Today was an exception. I hadn't played in a while, but the urge hit me like Soda Popinski, so I decided to join them. These guys play quite often and are pretty good, so I feel like the kid who gets picked last when I play with them.
I hadn't been playing too well today, but that was all about to change. We were on defense, and the other team was advancing down the field. I was playing up on the offense when they threw it down field. I saw my teammate encroach upon the disc, and knew there was going to be a turnover. I bolted down field, so that I could be in position for a long bomb or hail-mary of sorts. As soon as my teammate (name withheld) picked up the disc, our eyes met and I knew he was going to launch it down towards me.
Although it was a little high, it was a beautifully thrown frisbee. I quickly realized that I needed to slow down so that I wouldn't outrun the toss. Unfortunately, the disc's slight floatation enabled the opposing defender to catch up to me and battle for position. The defender was shorter than I, so I thought I should be able to out jump him, even though he was all over me. As the disc approached, I leaped into the air to retrieve it. Unfortunately, at the same time a thought entered my mind, "You'be been playing like crap today, Mr. Jesse, so you'd better not mess this up."
A loud groan escaped my lips as the frisbee bounced off the palm of my hand, "Noooo!!!" As I was putting my hands in front of my face displaying my shame, out of the corner of my eye, I noticed that the frisbee was falling down right in front of me.
I don't know if it was a stroke of genius, pure instinct, or the divine kinship of athleticism, but I somehow managed to kick the frisbee with my shoe. I didn't kick it very hard, but it was hard enough that it gave me enough time to swoop down and grab it. It was an amazing turn of events. Unfortunately, I wasn't in the end-zone when i caught it, and we ended up turning the frisbee over before we could score. Eventually we ended up losing. But hey, at least I made the catch of the day.
Here's a cartoon I "found" that perfectly illustrates my catch. I need to find out who the artist is...
There's a group of people that play frisbee once or twice a week during our lunch break at work. I don't play too often with them because I'd rather play basketball during lunch. Today was an exception. I hadn't played in a while, but the urge hit me like Soda Popinski, so I decided to join them. These guys play quite often and are pretty good, so I feel like the kid who gets picked last when I play with them.
I hadn't been playing too well today, but that was all about to change. We were on defense, and the other team was advancing down the field. I was playing up on the offense when they threw it down field. I saw my teammate encroach upon the disc, and knew there was going to be a turnover. I bolted down field, so that I could be in position for a long bomb or hail-mary of sorts. As soon as my teammate (name withheld) picked up the disc, our eyes met and I knew he was going to launch it down towards me.
Although it was a little high, it was a beautifully thrown frisbee. I quickly realized that I needed to slow down so that I wouldn't outrun the toss. Unfortunately, the disc's slight floatation enabled the opposing defender to catch up to me and battle for position. The defender was shorter than I, so I thought I should be able to out jump him, even though he was all over me. As the disc approached, I leaped into the air to retrieve it. Unfortunately, at the same time a thought entered my mind, "You'be been playing like crap today, Mr. Jesse, so you'd better not mess this up."
A loud groan escaped my lips as the frisbee bounced off the palm of my hand, "Noooo!!!" As I was putting my hands in front of my face displaying my shame, out of the corner of my eye, I noticed that the frisbee was falling down right in front of me.
I don't know if it was a stroke of genius, pure instinct, or the divine kinship of athleticism, but I somehow managed to kick the frisbee with my shoe. I didn't kick it very hard, but it was hard enough that it gave me enough time to swoop down and grab it. It was an amazing turn of events. Unfortunately, I wasn't in the end-zone when i caught it, and we ended up turning the frisbee over before we could score. Eventually we ended up losing. But hey, at least I made the catch of the day.
Here's a cartoon I "found" that perfectly illustrates my catch. I need to find out who the artist is...
7/25/09
Results Show
So, it's been a while since I last posted. I'm not sure what the deal is, but I just feel there hasn't been anything post-worthy. Until today, that is. I feel my last post has left most of you, the people, on edge to see what'd happed to the 2-in-1 bird's nest / barbecue. I also have an inkling that you'd like to know how the fence turned out.
Some of you may have cheated and already seen the pictures I included with this post. So, before I get any further, I'd like to clarify that no animals were harmed as a result of my birdiecue. Yes, that's right folks, I have dubbed my barbecue a birdiecue. Not sure why, but it just sounded clever I guess.
As for the fence configuration (and by configuration, I mean layout)... Just kidding, I won't get into that again. Anyway, the majority seemed to be in favor of me doing a high fence on top of the retaining wall. I, however, have never been one to follow the crowd, but rather prefer blazing my own trail(s). So, I did the shortened fence over the wall, and I think it looks rather splendid. One thing I did learn from this experience was that I never want to build another fence again - and I'll leave it at that.
Here's a reminder of my sketch I threw together to compare the two options. After seeing the actual photo, I am more motivated than ever to take up graphic design.
This last picture is for sean so he can have a reminder of how awesome my beard was while it lasted. It's also to show sammy chillin' in the pool.
Sammy's newest pet, Snaily Snail Sam, would like to thank you for your patronage.
Some of you may have cheated and already seen the pictures I included with this post. So, before I get any further, I'd like to clarify that no animals were harmed as a result of my birdiecue. Yes, that's right folks, I have dubbed my barbecue a birdiecue. Not sure why, but it just sounded clever I guess.
As for the fence configuration (and by configuration, I mean layout)... Just kidding, I won't get into that again. Anyway, the majority seemed to be in favor of me doing a high fence on top of the retaining wall. I, however, have never been one to follow the crowd, but rather prefer blazing my own trail(s). So, I did the shortened fence over the wall, and I think it looks rather splendid. One thing I did learn from this experience was that I never want to build another fence again - and I'll leave it at that.
Here's a reminder of my sketch I threw together to compare the two options. After seeing the actual photo, I am more motivated than ever to take up graphic design.
This last picture is for sean so he can have a reminder of how awesome my beard was while it lasted. It's also to show sammy chillin' in the pool.
Sammy's newest pet, Snaily Snail Sam, would like to thank you for your patronage.
6/3/09
Animal House
Whatever you want to call it, our home has turned into some sort of quasi-wildlife refuge / petting zoo / animal habitat. Let's start with the surprise under door #1:
From the looks of this picture, it appears that we have a somewhat-weathered but otherwise normal grill. The only thing out of the ordinary could be the dried grassy materials coming out from under the lid. But that very thing is what leads us to examine the situation a little further.
Viola, under the lid is a full-blown bird's nest. As you may guess, we haven't grilled for a while. About a month ago, I noticed the nest, but - in my laziness - did nothing.
My laziness proved to be the demise of my grill. As seen in the photo below, a closer view shows there may be something more to this nest than just a few feathers and dried vegetation. A prize goes to the first person to guess what could possibly be more than meets the eye in this nest.
If you guessed five bird eggs, then you are a winner.
DISCLAIMER: Prize(s) is/are subject to availability. Correct answer does not guarantee prize.
Next on the agenda is the reptilian enounter. The other day, some neighbor's came over so their daughter could get her haircut. When I answered the door, they told me to check outside by my car (which was parked in the driveway). I looked out and saw what I thought was a toy snake pooping (I mean popping) its head out through the front wheel. Turns out it was real, and ended up hiding in my garage for a couple of hours until I caught it off-guard when I took some garbage out. It was chillin in the stroller when I surprised it. I quickly grabbed some gloves and chased it through the garage before cornering and catching the little rascal.
I had an epiphany of sorts at that very moment. For in all my recollection, I don't believe I have ever come across a "wild" snake that wasn't behind glass. My epiphany was that I am scarred of snakes. I thought it was a garter snake (commonly referred as a garden snake), but after further research I believe it is a yellow-bellied racer snake. The racers are known to be fast, agressive, and good climbers -all of which was evidenced by me when I was trying to catch the buggar. They are also known to emit a stinky substance out the anus when captured (also evidenced by me). Luckily I dropped the darned thing when it tried to poop on me, so I didn't get slimed on. Trying to recatch it was even harder. Lucky for me, though, my adrenaline was pumping, and I was able to secure the culprit. Long story short, I shoved the thing in a cooler, drove to nearby canal and let it loose. The pictures are a little obscure because I was trying to do a self-portrait with the snake and myself, but it proved to be a little more difficult than I thought (largely due to my fear of snakes epiphany).
Snakey Snake would like to thank all those who viewed this post.
From the looks of this picture, it appears that we have a somewhat-weathered but otherwise normal grill. The only thing out of the ordinary could be the dried grassy materials coming out from under the lid. But that very thing is what leads us to examine the situation a little further.
Viola, under the lid is a full-blown bird's nest. As you may guess, we haven't grilled for a while. About a month ago, I noticed the nest, but - in my laziness - did nothing.
My laziness proved to be the demise of my grill. As seen in the photo below, a closer view shows there may be something more to this nest than just a few feathers and dried vegetation. A prize goes to the first person to guess what could possibly be more than meets the eye in this nest.
If you guessed five bird eggs, then you are a winner.
DISCLAIMER: Prize(s) is/are subject to availability. Correct answer does not guarantee prize.
Next on the agenda is the reptilian enounter. The other day, some neighbor's came over so their daughter could get her haircut. When I answered the door, they told me to check outside by my car (which was parked in the driveway). I looked out and saw what I thought was a toy snake pooping (I mean popping) its head out through the front wheel. Turns out it was real, and ended up hiding in my garage for a couple of hours until I caught it off-guard when I took some garbage out. It was chillin in the stroller when I surprised it. I quickly grabbed some gloves and chased it through the garage before cornering and catching the little rascal.
I had an epiphany of sorts at that very moment. For in all my recollection, I don't believe I have ever come across a "wild" snake that wasn't behind glass. My epiphany was that I am scarred of snakes. I thought it was a garter snake (commonly referred as a garden snake), but after further research I believe it is a yellow-bellied racer snake. The racers are known to be fast, agressive, and good climbers -all of which was evidenced by me when I was trying to catch the buggar. They are also known to emit a stinky substance out the anus when captured (also evidenced by me). Luckily I dropped the darned thing when it tried to poop on me, so I didn't get slimed on. Trying to recatch it was even harder. Lucky for me, though, my adrenaline was pumping, and I was able to secure the culprit. Long story short, I shoved the thing in a cooler, drove to nearby canal and let it loose. The pictures are a little obscure because I was trying to do a self-portrait with the snake and myself, but it proved to be a little more difficult than I thought (largely due to my fear of snakes epiphany).
Snakey Snake would like to thank all those who viewed this post.
5/28/09
Yote: Vour Opinion Matters
First off, there's no need to vote on the current song - I already know it's amazing. Make sure you listen to the whole thing, though, it only gets better as it goes. When the vocalist starts a speaking the words instead of singing them, I laugh my head off everytime I listen to it. Then, when you think it can't get anymore bizarre, it does.
Now to the subject of this post. We (and by we, I mean I) are in the process of building a fence to finish our yard. This will also allow us to send the kids outside without having to worry about them running off somewhere. I (and by I, I mean we) am faced with a dilema on how to configure the fence around our retaining wall. The photo (and by photo, I mean amazing artwork) below shows the two options we are considering.
On the left, you'll notice that the fence just goes straight across. Our retaining wall is about 3.642 feet high, so we'd have approximately 2.358 feet of fence above the wall. It's a little short, but I think it would do the job. I do have concerns, though, because our neighbors have a large dog. If it were to climb on their retaining wall, it could easily step over the shortened fence. However, our neighbors are renters, and they could be moving soon. Also, the owner has not done a fence on the other side of his property, so it could be quite a while (if ever) before our neighbors would let an unleashed dog in their backyard.
On the right (and by right, I mean the right side of the photo (and by photo, see reference to photo above)), we have a full six feet of fence on top of the retaining wall. In order to avoid a less-than-asethetically-pleasing transition to the lower fence, I am thinking about angling the panels as shown. Our neighbors did the same thing and it turned out nice. The thing is (and by thing, I mean problem) that our neighbors had their fence professionally installed. While I don't like to boast of my abilities (see my post titled "Just Call Me Mr. Simpson" from June, 2008), I think I could do a decent job at replicating my neighbors - it will just be harder than dried snot.
Please send me your opinions in the comment section on which would work. I know you will have no trouble at all in envisioning our backyard.
Also, I am considering doing some graphic design on the side. I will do free estimates. Contact me anytime for a quote.
Finally, I have listened to Don't Stop Believin' five + times since I started writing this post.
Now to the subject of this post. We (and by we, I mean I) are in the process of building a fence to finish our yard. This will also allow us to send the kids outside without having to worry about them running off somewhere. I (and by I, I mean we) am faced with a dilema on how to configure the fence around our retaining wall. The photo (and by photo, I mean amazing artwork) below shows the two options we are considering.
On the left, you'll notice that the fence just goes straight across. Our retaining wall is about 3.642 feet high, so we'd have approximately 2.358 feet of fence above the wall. It's a little short, but I think it would do the job. I do have concerns, though, because our neighbors have a large dog. If it were to climb on their retaining wall, it could easily step over the shortened fence. However, our neighbors are renters, and they could be moving soon. Also, the owner has not done a fence on the other side of his property, so it could be quite a while (if ever) before our neighbors would let an unleashed dog in their backyard.
On the right (and by right, I mean the right side of the photo (and by photo, see reference to photo above)), we have a full six feet of fence on top of the retaining wall. In order to avoid a less-than-asethetically-pleasing transition to the lower fence, I am thinking about angling the panels as shown. Our neighbors did the same thing and it turned out nice. The thing is (and by thing, I mean problem) that our neighbors had their fence professionally installed. While I don't like to boast of my abilities (see my post titled "Just Call Me Mr. Simpson" from June, 2008), I think I could do a decent job at replicating my neighbors - it will just be harder than dried snot.
Please send me your opinions in the comment section on which would work. I know you will have no trouble at all in envisioning our backyard.
Also, I am considering doing some graphic design on the side. I will do free estimates. Contact me anytime for a quote.
Finally, I have listened to Don't Stop Believin' five + times since I started writing this post.
5/19/09
THE NEXT GREAT DEBATE
I read about a little issue involving the Denver Thuggets - I mean Nuggets – and the playoff schedule. Apparently, Game 4 of the Lakers-Nuggets series is scheduled for next Monday. Problem is, last August, WWE scheduled an event for the very same night. The “wrestling” match date was re-confirmed as recently as March, and tickets went on sale a month ago.
Nugget officials are stating the game will be played as scheduled, but nothing has been resolved as to when and if the WWE event will be rescheduled. Vince McMahon stated that WWE has already sold over 10,000 tickets for the event, and plans on selling out. He added fire to the pot by saying that because the event was scheduled for this time of year, the Nuggets owner didn’t have enough faith that his team would still be playing this late in May. Given the Nuggets's playoff record in recent seasons, plus the fact that The Answer was definately not the answer for team sucess, the outlook on this season wasn't too bright pre-Billups.
My thoughts are: the NBA knew the Pepsi Center was being used that night, and scheduled game 4 regardless; so the Nuggets and the NBA should be scrambling to see if a local college (or high school for that matter) court is available (meaning that no other events are scheduled for next Monday) so they can still hold their game that night.
Your thoughts?
4/1/09
The Creature From The Burrito - Chapter 3
Before I start, I'd like you all to know that I think I've kicked this writer's block thingamajigger. Also, the sauna worked, and I'm back to my old self. So, without further delay, I give you CHAPTER 3.
Chapter 3
Goat turned of the car as they reached their destination. It was nighttime now, so they decided to camp in the parking lot before starting their trek the next day. The forecast for the next few days showed little chance of rain, so they decided to sleep under the stars that night.
As they grabbed their resting sacks, Goat mentioned something about being glad that he didn’t have to pull out his tent tonight. Hairy was cursing under her breath because she had forgotten her shaving gel. Smells was a few yards away trying to get some flatulence out of his system before turning in for the night.
Ernie, though, was paying little attention to everyone else. He thought to himself, How could I just snarff down that burrito like that? I was drawn to that stand as if I had no other choice… A mini-debate was going on in his head as he tried to rationalize with himself why he was so impulsive with getting that burrito. At least he thought he was debating in his head until he looked up and saw that the other three were quietly staring at him while he muttered to himself.
“You had another burrito at the gas station, Ernie?” asked Hairy, “I thought you just got some turkey jerky or something.” Ernie had to think quick, they wouldn’t believe me since the vendor disappeared right after I finished the burrito. “No, no, no, you must have misheard me. My stomach’s not feeling well, and I think it’s from those burritos we ate at lunch,” replied Ernie. “But we didn’t buy those from a street vendor, and I distinctly heard you say something about a mysterious street vendor,” interrupted Smells.
Ernie couldn’t think of anything to counter Smells, so he answered “You guys won’t believe me, but…,” Ernie started, as he recounted his experience with the crazy comfort room, the bodacious burrito, and the vanishing vendor. “That’s impossible,” said Hairy, “I saw you across the street – BY YOURSELF, ALONE, SOLO!”
“I knew you wouldn’t believe me, but it really did happen, and it was the best darn burrito I have ever had the pleasure of tasting,” Ernie replied.
“Assuming this really did happen (and we all know what assuming does), how are you feeling now?” questioned Smells. “If there’s anything I know about, it’s upset stomachs and frothiness. I’m worried you might have food poisoning because you look kind of pale.”
“I think I’m okay. I mean, my stomach’s rumbling and all, but it’s not a sick feeling. I can’t really explain it, but it’s kind of like when your stomach’s full of water and you can kind of feel it sloshing around combined with that butterfly feeling you get when you’re nervous. I really do think I’m fine, it’s more that I’m weirded out by the taco guy disappearing and all. I should be good-to-go tomorrow after a night’s sleep in the clear air out here. The Namnama area sure is beautiful and serene.”
Goat replied, “If our trip is ruined by having to go home early simply because of your burrito fetish, I swear I’ll…”
“You wouldn’t do anything to Ernie,” snapped Hairy.
“Of course I wouldn’t do anything, that was simply my lame attempt at lightening the mood,” said Goat with a smirk as he ran over to Smells and put him in a headlock. He quickly released though, as it was still quite apparent that Smells was still digesting lunch from earlier that day.
Chapter 3
Goat turned of the car as they reached their destination. It was nighttime now, so they decided to camp in the parking lot before starting their trek the next day. The forecast for the next few days showed little chance of rain, so they decided to sleep under the stars that night.
As they grabbed their resting sacks, Goat mentioned something about being glad that he didn’t have to pull out his tent tonight. Hairy was cursing under her breath because she had forgotten her shaving gel. Smells was a few yards away trying to get some flatulence out of his system before turning in for the night.
Ernie, though, was paying little attention to everyone else. He thought to himself, How could I just snarff down that burrito like that? I was drawn to that stand as if I had no other choice… A mini-debate was going on in his head as he tried to rationalize with himself why he was so impulsive with getting that burrito. At least he thought he was debating in his head until he looked up and saw that the other three were quietly staring at him while he muttered to himself.
“You had another burrito at the gas station, Ernie?” asked Hairy, “I thought you just got some turkey jerky or something.” Ernie had to think quick, they wouldn’t believe me since the vendor disappeared right after I finished the burrito. “No, no, no, you must have misheard me. My stomach’s not feeling well, and I think it’s from those burritos we ate at lunch,” replied Ernie. “But we didn’t buy those from a street vendor, and I distinctly heard you say something about a mysterious street vendor,” interrupted Smells.
Ernie couldn’t think of anything to counter Smells, so he answered “You guys won’t believe me, but…,” Ernie started, as he recounted his experience with the crazy comfort room, the bodacious burrito, and the vanishing vendor. “That’s impossible,” said Hairy, “I saw you across the street – BY YOURSELF, ALONE, SOLO!”
“I knew you wouldn’t believe me, but it really did happen, and it was the best darn burrito I have ever had the pleasure of tasting,” Ernie replied.
“Assuming this really did happen (and we all know what assuming does), how are you feeling now?” questioned Smells. “If there’s anything I know about, it’s upset stomachs and frothiness. I’m worried you might have food poisoning because you look kind of pale.”
“I think I’m okay. I mean, my stomach’s rumbling and all, but it’s not a sick feeling. I can’t really explain it, but it’s kind of like when your stomach’s full of water and you can kind of feel it sloshing around combined with that butterfly feeling you get when you’re nervous. I really do think I’m fine, it’s more that I’m weirded out by the taco guy disappearing and all. I should be good-to-go tomorrow after a night’s sleep in the clear air out here. The Namnama area sure is beautiful and serene.”
Goat replied, “If our trip is ruined by having to go home early simply because of your burrito fetish, I swear I’ll…”
“You wouldn’t do anything to Ernie,” snapped Hairy.
“Of course I wouldn’t do anything, that was simply my lame attempt at lightening the mood,” said Goat with a smirk as he ran over to Smells and put him in a headlock. He quickly released though, as it was still quite apparent that Smells was still digesting lunch from earlier that day.
3/17/09
Updates
For all of you that are fans of my "Creature From the Burrito" saga, I just thought I'd let you know that I am working on the next few chapters. Unfortunately, I (like most writers do at some point) am experiencing a mild case of writer's block. Combine that with some carpal tunnel along with hairy knuckles, and you can see my perdicament.
The Good News:
When I was diagnosted, they informed me that I am one of the lucky ones, as my condition is not terminal. As long as I follow my perscription of Dr. Pepper and spicy foods, I should be able to kick this thing and get back to writing. Apparently, the 23 flavors (thanks Sean)have some sort of reaction with spices which cleanse the brain - sort of like a detox (or so says Dr. Quinn). Anyway, it feels like it's already working, so more chapters should be forthcoming.
The Bad News:
By writing this post, I have used up any creativity I may have gained by going through my detox program. This is a major setback, and I have no idea how long it will take me to regain my now-lost progress.
The Other Bad News:
My detox program has an awefully awkward side affect, as you can see by my picture.
The Good News:
When I was diagnosted, they informed me that I am one of the lucky ones, as my condition is not terminal. As long as I follow my perscription of Dr. Pepper and spicy foods, I should be able to kick this thing and get back to writing. Apparently, the 23 flavors (thanks Sean)have some sort of reaction with spices which cleanse the brain - sort of like a detox (or so says Dr. Quinn). Anyway, it feels like it's already working, so more chapters should be forthcoming.
The Bad News:
By writing this post, I have used up any creativity I may have gained by going through my detox program. This is a major setback, and I have no idea how long it will take me to regain my now-lost progress.
The Other Bad News:
My detox program has an awefully awkward side affect, as you can see by my picture.
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