Hello Everyone

Random Photos

Just a few of the things that have been going on lately. Janie eats food now (she had carrots yesterday), Kyra likes to dress up, and Sammy had a blast at the auto expo. I'm not trying to play favorites with Sammy or anything, but I wanted to post the expo pics.

Caramel Apple Upside-down French Toast

I've decided to come out of the pantry, and declare my food hobby. Ever since I was a kid, I remember coming up with food concoctions. By concoctions, I mostly mean milkshakes and sandwiches. For the most part, as far as I remember, my creations were edible. (NOTE: Bologna and sprouts, seasoned with a little ketchup, between two slices of bread does NOT translate into a tasty sandwich.) Nowadays, I would love to come up with an extravagant meal for the family, but am often content to simply whip up something quick and tasty to satisfy me. Good food has always interested me, though, and thanks to the wonders of cable television, I now have access to the Food Network. I shamefully must admit that other than Jazz games, I probably watch food shows the most. I know I just said I’m usually making something quick and easy, but every once-in-a-while I am possessed by the right combination of ingredients, stamina and desire to create a meal. Recently, I watched a show that gave me this recipe for some fancy French toast. I tried it out on my new cast iron skillet I got for Christmas, and it turned out pretty good.

Follow me, now, on my journey to some ultimate French toast:

First, I made a simple caramel sauce (butter, brown sugar, and cream), and added some dried cranberries and pecans.

I then added a layer of sliced apples, and spinkled on some cinnamon and brown sugar.

The apples were then covered with a couple slices of bread soaked in my french toast batter (ingrediants not revealed) and into the oven to bake.

This is what it looked like after it was done baking.

This was the tricky part. I pressed the skillet against a cookie sheet and then had to do a little whoop-dee-doo (a.k.a. flip the pan over), to get the goodness out of the skillet. Just look at that sweetness. It goes great with a ham and cheese omlet. Well, I hope you all enjoyed this magical mystery tour. Until next time. Adieu.

Prophetic Blogger

Those of you that have been with me from the begining may remember that my 2nd entry explained how I would have links to "other" blogs while I was trying to figure out, and I quote, "how in the heck to make my own blog." Well, although I will never claim this to be perfect, I believe I have pretty much figured out the gist of this whole blogging thing.

I realize that some of you may be offended. Let's be honest, though, how many of you have actually used those links from my blog anyway? I believe 94.8% of you would say you've never used my links. The other 4.2% are lying (with 1% left to variance). Though you won't admit it, but once you view this blog, there's no reason to view another. Also, judging by the thousands of comments I get on my posts, it would be a near-full-time job just updating the links list. Half of those are invite-only blogs as well, so if you were to spite me and try to link to another blog, I would likely be leading you on a wild goose chase anyway.

So, I have decided to fulfill my own prophecy. The Other Blogs Less Interesting Than This One section of my blog has now been and forever will be removed.

Here's some pics:

Rickey Henderson

I’m not entirely sure when or how it all started, but it was in the late 80s when I got my first intro to Rickey Henderson. As a youth I was just getting into baseball, both as a player in little league and a fan. My earliest recollection of a World Series was in 1989, when the A’s sweep of the near-by San Fransisco Giants was overshadowed by the earthquake. At the time the A’s were a very good team, with a young nucleus of power hitters Mark McGwire and Jose Canseco, and Rickey Henderson had just rejoined the team after a stint with the Yankees. Since Utah had/has no major league team, I naturally latched onto the team that was the best at the time. The A’s were world champions, and they were now my team.
Next on the agenda was to find a favorite player. This part is a little fuzzy to me, but I went to a local store to get a poster. Considering my naivety, my brother was (at the time) a sports’ guru compared to me. My goal was to get a “cool” poster, preferably one sports related, but I was flexible. As I was flipping through the posters, I remember noticing a Karl Malone poster and a Bash Brothers poster of Jose and Mark. Then, another A’s player poster showed up. I’m pretty sure I didn’t know who he was at the time, but if he had a poster, he must be good – Rickey Henderson was his name.
My brother probably informed me that he was a really good player, that he was fast, and inherently skilled at stealing bases. That was enough for me, I was sold.
Over the years, I would collect Rickey’s baseball cards wherever I could. It got to the point that, even though my team was still the A’s, I cheered for whatever team Rickey was on, Toronto, San Diego, New York, Anaheim, Seattle, Boston, Los Angeles, and several return trips to Oakland. I loved learning about Rickey’s accomplishments. My Sunday morning ritual would be: put some Eggo waffles in the toaster, grab the paper, pull out the sports section, and quickly scan to see what Rickey’s year-to-date stats were while meticulously eating my Eggos. You can probably bet my excitement when I found out that Rickey’s minor-league record for stolen bases in a single game happened on my birthday. Even after the lockout almost completely destroyed my passion for MLB, the fact that Rickey was still playing kept me a fan.
Congrats to Rickey for being called to the Hall of Fame.

Some Pics of the Kiddies

So, I've come to the realization that many of the people who view this blog are more interested in seeing pics of the kids, rather than sampling my literary style. So, I've decided to get a few more pics up for you all, in an attempt to save this blog. Unfortunately, our camera was misplaced over Christmas, so I don't have any pictures of the holidays.

The Office Quote of the Day

Let me describe the perfect date: I take her out to a nice dinner. She looks amazing. Some guy tries to hit on her... now he wants to fight- so I grab him- I throw him into the jukebox! Then the other ninja's got a knife, he comes at me, we grapple, I turn his knife on him. Blood on the dance floor. She's scared now. I take her home. I'm holding her in my arms. I reach in for a kiss... I hear something in the leaves, I flip her around, she gets a poison arrow right in her back. She was in on it the whole time... but I knew. Dwight Schrute..from the episode in season one where the purse lady comes to sell stuff.

Baby Come Back

It is a sad, sad day for me. The Jeep is sold. Seeing how the guy isn't picking it up until tonight, I may be being a little bit presumptuous. Nevertheless, my heart is full, and I can barely hold back the tears. Oh, the memories, the memories. Despite the fact that it has been sitting on the side of my house for the better part of a year, it will always hold a special place in my heart - right next to the fat wad of cash I got for selling it. Like someone once said, "When a door closes, open up a window to let the sunshine in."

The Creature From the Burrito - Chapter 2

I know, I know, it's been a long-time coming for this next step in the burrito saga. I would like to apologize for the delay in getting out another chapter, but my publisher and I have been battling over whether I should keep writting on the blog, or go straight to print. My argument is that in this day and age where so many things are available online, I'd get more publicity by using my blog. So with out further delay, here is Chapter 2.

Ernie, Hairy, and Smells started rummaging through the convenience store while Goat paid for the gasoline. “Got anything good to eat around here?” asked Goat as he slipped the cashier a twenty. “Well, normally there’s the taco stand across the street, but the guy who runs the place has been missing for a few days now. It’s a bit odd, because he sets up his stand on the corner there and hasn’t missed a day for years. Now, he hasn’t shown up for three or four days, and noone’s seen or heard from him. He had the best tacos and burritos around…”

“Where’s the comfort room?” interrupted Ernie.

“It’s around back. Here’s the key. Just make sure you jiggle the handle when you flush, the toilet’s been acting up, and it’ll run all night if you don’t.”

Ernie could hear the cashier explaining the assortment of quick eats the store had to offer as he walked out side. A cool breeze brushed passed Ernie, sending a slight chill down his back. When he neared the bathroom door, a delicious aroma filled his nostrils, letting him know that there were burritos near. I just had a burrito for lunch Ernie thought to himself. Besides, I’d never hear then end of it from the guys.

After his trip to the comfort room proved to be uneventful-yet-successful, Ernie remembered he forgot to jiggle the handle on the toilet. “Oh, bother,” Ernie muttered to himself as he turned around to go jiggle the toilet. As he walked back to the comfort room, Ernie noticed what looked like the silhouette of a taco stand in the shadows. I thought the cashier told Goat that the taco guy was missing, Ernie thought as he approached the stand to see if anyone was there.

“Would you like a taco or a burrito?” asked a man who seemed to appear out of nowhere. The man spoke with a peculiar accent that Ernie couldn’t quite recognize, and had an eerily high pitch to his voice. His unkempt hair was a mix of red and white. His skin was pale, and he had a long, lurpy frame. It appeared that his outfit was from a thrift store, and he had an old, musky smell to him. Normally, this appearance would have turned Ernie away, but the wondrous aroma of burritos put him in such a trance, he wondered if he was hypnotized.

Even though he had just had a burrito for lunch, Ernie found that the only words he could utter were, “I’ll take one, please.” “Many thanks,” replied the vendor as he handed over a foil-wrapped burrito. Before he knew it, half the burrito was down his throat, and Ernie was shoving whatever else he could of the burrito into his mouth whenever a little space cleared up after a swallow. As he swallowed the last bit, he turned and said, “Are you the guy that’s been missing for a few…” Ernie realized that the guy and taco stand were gone, nowhere to be found.

As he stood there pondering what had just taken place, Ernie thought, That was perhaps the BEST burrito I have ever had. It’s probably best that I ate it so fast so I won’t get any flack from the guys for having another burrito today. But where could that guy have gone?

"What’re you doing over there, Ernie?” Hairy shouted from across the street. “I thought I saw the taco guy that’s been missing,” Ernie replied. It was partially true, but he conveniently left out the part about eating an uber delicious burrito. “Well, hurry up and get some food so we can get going. We’re all ready to go.”

Ernie ran back across the street, and went back inside the convenience store to grab something to eat. He was full, of course, from the burrito, but didn’t want to look too suspicious, so he grabbed some jerky and a juice. As he paid for his food, a weird rumble rolled through his stomach. Probably just indigestion or something, he thought. “What does the taco guy look like?” Ernie asked curiously. “Oh, Pepito? Why, did you see him? He’s a short guy with dark hair. He’s got this huge mole on his right forearm…” Ernie didn’t hear the rest of what the cashier was saying because all he could think about was his stomach rumbling and that the mystery man who sold him the burrito was definitely not the local taco man.

As they drove off, Smells asked “You all right there, Ernie? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.” Ernie just stared out the window. “Ernie!” nudged Smells, “you okay?!?” “Yeah,” replied Ernie, scrambling to come up with something to say. “I, I just forgot to jiggle the toilet handle like the guy asked me to. That guy is going to be T-O’d.” They all laughed as Goat said, “Let’s just hope I have enough gas that we don’t have to stop there on the way back.”

New Era

So begins a new chapter in my life. I have officially separated from my former employer and have embarked on a new career as an environmental engineer. Sure there will be some things that I miss such as the practical jokes we would play on each other at the office. I have decided, for your benefit, to describe some of the jokes we used to play on each other. These may not be as funny as some of the pranks Jim plays on Dwight in The Office, but they produced some good laughs in their own right. I will also admit that I was not always the culprit in these jokes, but sometimes the victim. I have divided the pranks into categories:

Rubber bands

-I used to love to sneak up behind certain people that were, let’s say “jumpy”, and fire a rubber band right past their head and have it hit their computer monitor. Unfortunately, the velocity I liked to use for firing the rubber bands had a linear effect on the accuracy of my aim.

-Sometimes I’d try to knock over a coworker’s cup that was used to store sunflower seeds. When I succeeded, there was usually a plethora of seeds that needed picking up afterwards.

-Then there were the random targets I’d try to hit. This wasn’t so much of a prank as it was more of target practice. I always felt bad if the target happened to be someone’s arm or head.

Computers

-If I remember right, this is the joke that started it all. One day I was messing around, and found out how to rotate the computer screen display. Although simple to rectify if one knows how, it was a nasty trick if you didn’t know how to correct it. When the display was upside down, if you pushed upwards on the mouse, the mouse would go to the bottom of the screen because that’s where the “top” of the display was. The first time I did this, I happened to call in sick the next morning, and later found out that my “victim” sat at his desk for an hour or two trying to figure out how to fix it.

-Another prank that was fun to do is get random photos of coworkers, photoshop their heads onto funny pictures, and email the new-and-improved pictures to everyone else in the office. Let’s just say that I was a victim of this more than once.

Telephones

-Our phone system had this intercom system, where you could go straight to someone else’s speaker with out having their phone ring or have them answer. Needless to say, if someone got caught napping at their desk, they had a rude awakening.

In conclusion, these may sound lame to some of you out there, but a good joke or prank can lighten almost anyone’s work-day, just make sure the prankee can take it.